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Category Archives: Mothering

Mother Yourself Up!

I am a busy mom (2 girls, 6 and 8), an artist and a teacher. My never-ending goal is to live life in a rich, thoughtful, loving and creative way. I overflow with love for my girls … and I need to make art (sing, write, play music, create smart videos…). My hope for my new two-fold site is to provide you with ideas to help you be a happier, more content mom (and woman) and also share thoughts that might inspire you in the parenting arena. And to provide fun, smart music for kids and families

I work at balance everyday… to balance the energy I give to my husband, family, friends, and to MYSELF…not to mention the house, the cooking, the bills, the pets and our school. I want to share what I learn, as I learn, about being happy and feeing that I am doing my dharma: living my life inline with that which I am actually destined to be doing.

I am  only child and realize that the connection between the child and the mother is magical, powerful, intense, scary, gigantic and mind-bending. My girls pick up on my moods and feelings – they are little psychic sponges. I felt my mom’s feelings DIRECTLY and still do. I believe that to be conscious of these connections as we are mothering will help us be better parents and help us to raise children who can individuate and thrive. The beauty of this philosophy is that, the better we take care of OURSELVES, the more connected and aware mothers we become to our CHILDREN.  Just like on the airplane, fasten your grown-up oxygen masks first, so that you can more effectively help your child.

I know I can live the rich, full life I have always dreamt of…. being an artist, a mother and a teacher. I know you can do it too! Really being who I want to be will support my kids in a positive way. By sharing my journey, I hope to inspire you and your kids. Living in tune with ourselves sets an example by showing, by doing. Actively honoring dreams, the inner world, the delicate balance of love, art and family AND sharing it here is the plan. Oh yeah! Mother yourself up baby!!

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ChristmasTime is better than Christmas Day (Don’t end up in the ER!)

Our plan is to make Christmas more about the season than about the day. Hopefully it will keep our kids and our family centered and keep us safe too!

When I was a little girl, I would get so excited about Christmas that I would get sick. I’d work myself up into such an anxious state, my stomach would hurt and I’d almost lose my breath. My mom later told me she could not tell me Christmas was coming until 3 or 4 days before the actual day.

It is a crazy-huge concept for kids to digest isn’t it? Be good and if you are,  a magical man will fly with reindeer to the roof of your house, slide in through your fireplace, munch on your cookies and leave you your hearts’ desire, wrapped up in shiny paper and ribbons! And meanwhile, here honey, let’s make some fudge and eat some chocolate and cookie batter and stay up late and go on vacation and play play play. Talk about stimulation.

Delilah’s last two Christmases were scarred by over excitement. Two years ago she slammed her jaw into a cement wall (playing on Christmas afternoon) and last year she had a 103 temperature on Christmas day, ALL day. I just read that Christmas (especially the day after Christmas) finds many people in the Emergency Room. It’s just THAT exciting!

“How about the busiest day for emergency room care?  Any ideas?  It’s the day after Christmas.  After all the stress of trying to get thru the holidays – a lot of people end up in the hospital.”

So the way I having fun with it AND trying to keep the my girls a bit contained this year, is by talking about ChristmasTIME. Hannah (4) and Delilah (7) have 3 weeks off. That’s a lot of time! And in this “TIME” we will do all the fun and usual Christmas and Hanukkah stuff: bake, eat, sleep, wrap, deliver cookies to neighbors, sing, maybe go to some museums and take a trip to Big Sur. I talk about how lucky we are to be together and enjoy all of this time. It’s a lot of gratitude talk, and I think it’s calming for them and settling me down too!

Yes, they still ask me how many days til Christmas and Hanukkah (we celebrate everything around here), but I temper it with what is going on in the moment. Hopefully it will help them stay relaxed, get sleep at night and keep them healthy too.

p.s. Here is a fun thing to do at ChrsitmasTIME that you can do whenever the kids need a good holiday run-around. Hide N Seek in a xmas tree forest!

 

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Birthday Party Activity for a 7 Year Old: Fun and Educational Treasure Hunt

My favorite and most memorable birthday party when I was a kid was the one where my Dad created a treasure hunt for us. I was turning 9 and it really made an impression on me. He made rhyming clues, one leading to another, and all us kids had to figure them out and sleuth around to discover which one led where. I have no recollection of the prize, I just remember how fun it was for us to figure out and decipher the hidden messages.

So I created one for my daughter’s 7 year old party last night. There were 9 kids at the party and I think if you have a fairly small group, this hunt is a lot of fun. (I also believe parties should always be as small as possible. I’ll get into that in a another post). The clues were invented quickly and easily while I was in line at the post office, notating them on my iphone.

The clues, written in simple language (kids are just learning to read at this age) on little pieces of yellow construction paper, rolled into scrolls and then taped on to hiding places, led to a treasure map. The map I drew with a regular pen on white office paper. I drew a rough layout of the house and then used a darker marker to make dots leading outside to the back yard. I shredded the sides by ripping a little here and there and then tied it with a ribbon, The treasure was a pretty box I borrowed from my mom, filled with golden chocolate coins (gelt), mint chocolates and sugar-free bubble gum that I found at Smart ‘N Final (a kind of super-store… Costco restaurant supply type place in California). I hid the pretty treasure box under a plastic pin outside, stuck a big X on it and the hunt was ready!

Before we began, I laid down the rules:
1. No running
2. When they find a new clue, they are to put there heads together, talk about where it might be and walk to the place they thought they might find it. (problem solving)
3. They are to take turns reading the clues. (literacy)
4. When they find the treasure, they are to slowly come to the living room, dump it out (birthday girl gets to carry it), look at it, then slowly divvy it up. Now kids these days are trained to go nuts and hoard and grab candy (think piñata frenzy). And with our party it took about 7 reminders that there was no need to hog and fret about the goods. The key to this is buy a lot of treasure. I bought 160 coins (come in bulk for $10) and about 100 chocolate mints and one 12 piece pack of gum. The more there is, the more they relax about trying to get some.

Then I hand out empty goodie bags, so when they find the booty, they can divide up the spoils evenly. (counting…sorting).

This hunt was the highlight of the party and I thought I would teach you how to do it for your 7 and up year old. This is the kind of thing you could do every year, making the clues more and more difficult to solve.

Here’s what you will need.

6 or more clues (write your own or use mine)
6 pieces colored construction paper
tape
paper for map
ribbon for map
pretty box for treasure
something to hide treasure under (blanket, box… or you could even bury it…but i believe simple is best for mom)
LOTS of treasure
empty bags (zip-lock or what-ever you like)

I started by sitting all the kids down, going over the rules and then giving the first clue to Delilah.

Clue #1:

You’ll find the map where it gets hot
between the toaster and the pot

(all kids figure out kitchen…walk there, find toaster and on a pot near the toaster there is the second yellow clue.)

Clue #2:
Now go into Delilah’s room
and look up high beside the moon
(all kids go to Delilah’s room and look up to a moon that was already stuck up there, and see a yellow scroll taped to the ceiling. I jump up and get it and we read the next clue)

Clue #3:
Go out the front door and by the dome
look to find a little phone

(we walk outside where by our play structure dome, I had taped a clue onto a little plastic toy phone that the girls had and stuck it under the dome. You can easily find things you have to use to make rhymes!)

Clue #4:
You are smart but there is more
taped onto the bathroom door

(they all walk to bathroom, go inside and up taped on the back of the door, they find it!)

Clue #5:
Close your eyes and make a wish
Now go and feed our little fish
(they walk to the aquarium, and taped on the fish food container, the last clue)

Clue #6:
One last clue will take you there
On the red couch there is a bear

(I found a teddy bear in their animal basket and had hidden the map behind the bear)

The kids were out of their minds with excitement, anticipation and cleverness at this point.

Delilah opened the map and looked at it. I had the layout of the house sketched roughly, and she needed to figure how to go out the kitchen door to the backyard and turn left. She got out the kitchen door and turned right, so I gently redirected, as all the kids walked down the driveway looking for the X. And then one girls said “The X!”. Delilah got to lift the pink plastic bin and find hidden below, the magical box.

We brought it inside and sat in a circle, dumped it out (this is where daddy and I spoke in pirate voices and complained that our treasure had been found and stolen).

The kids divvied up the goods squarely and put their shares in their bags. They were allowed 3 pieces (it was before dinner, and again I am a big believer in not saying…”just one”.. that creates deprivation and then bingeing…more on that coming in a new post!). So 3 it was and the kids were thrilled.

And that was that. A good time is guaranteed with this treasure hunt and kids learn so much. Most of all it’s empowering, thoughtful and super fun.

AAAAAARRRRRRRR!

 

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Yellow Car – FUN driving game with counting and wishes!

 Did you see that Yellow Beetle Bug?

I wrote a song when Delilah was 2 and it was all because as we drove across town in my blue minivan, she kept whispering “yellow car” (tho it sounded more like “yeyo cah yeyo cah”). I would think, “oh that’s cute, she likes saying that” but then in about 30 seconds, a yellow car would approach, or I’d see one parked way down the road. She was seeing them before I was! And I had no idea that there were SO many yellow cars on the road.

Not only did we continue to search for the yellow cars on the way to baby group or the beach, but we started pretending that you get a wish when you see one. Pretty soon, the song was written on the road and when it came to recording the CD of course we had to put it on “Everyday Adventures”.
And it’s so funny when ever kids come over, like when Eric Herman’s girls came over to do some recording…they knocked on the door and asked “Do you have a yellow car?”. And the answer is “no”. I have a blue minivan, great for spotting yellow cars.
Here is a little excerpt from Sharla’s kidfun blog.
Beep Beep!

3 Nov  by Sharla http://kidfunandmore.com/?p=349

I’ve been meeting so many interesting people throughout the country who are sharing their ideas with us. How about the Yellow Car Counting Game? It’s a simple little driving game (perfect for KIDFUN). It came from Deborah Poppink, a Los Angeles-based mom, creative parenting advocate, and musician who records and performs as DidiPop.

Here’s how to play … every time you see a yellow car, you get a wish. She said, “I never realized how many yellow cars are on the road!” They started playing when her daughter Delilah was two years old and she began saying the word “yellow” and recognizing the color. She would whisper “yellow car”. I remember when Ryan started saying yellow – it sounded more like “lellow”. I loved it!

So the rules their family created were: Call it out every time you see a yellow car. You get one wish when you see a regular yellow car, two wishes for yellow Beetle Bugs and motorcycles and 1/2 wish for taxi cabs. What a good way to introduce fractions! And, you know, it’s fun to talk about wishes. Be clear they aren’t promises just lovely thoughts to dream about.

Learn more about Deborah by visiting www.didipop.com and www.YouTube.com/didipopmusic.

She has a new recording called DidiPop Goes to Hawaii, being released in December.

 

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Room to Breathe: Outsourcing my lovely puppy.

How could I resist?

New Puppy. Oh how I fell in love at first sight with this little girl who is now called Treya. We met at the dog rescue in front of our local farmers’ market and I couldn’t live without her. I have not had a new puppy as an adult. Our last dog was a rescue, but she was 6 and was house trained and not FULL of energy CONSTANTLY.

Well, this little girl (who is now sitting on my lap as I type this… actually resting her fluffy head on my right fore-arm which keeps it warm and makes a little challenging to type!) is another BABY. Monday night, the second day she lived with us, I could not think straight. Delilah needed help with homework, Hannah needed me with her crayons, David wasn’t home yet, the dinner was cooking and Treya was peeing on the sofa. I stood in the kitchen and cried into the broccoli. My girls gathered around me and said, “it’s OK mommy”.

Me typing with Treya on arms – Photo by 4 year old Hannah

But I knew I had pushed myself too far. I do have the habit of extending myself and I hear it is a trait of A type personalities and moms. When you have an A-type and a Mom combo (that’s me), it can get very intense. The mantra from “The Little Engine That Could” comes to mind “I think I can I think I can”. But my mantra must change to  “I think I better rest, I think I better rest”.

I realized the puppy was too much for me. I called my mom, like I always do when I need fine spiritual guidance, and she agreed that it was too much on my plate. She had been looking for another dog to go with her older doggie Winston

and we decided that my mom would take Treya (named for Matreya, the future Buddha). My mom just had a big birthday and this is the perfect way for her to infused her life with new, young energy!

Winston and Treya

So, the story ends happily ever-after. The dog is in the family (it takes a village) and will be loved by all,  just trained and raised in a home without Winnie-The-Poohs and tiny sandals for her to teeth on. And the moral of the story is, sometimes I have to make tough choices. Love is not enough…it’s a mater of being sensitive to myself, my time and my energy and my priorities. I don’t want to neglect my girls when they need me in order to care for the dog. Not now anyway when she is ALL my responsibility. I’ll wait til the girls can clean up pee and take her for a walk. I’ll give my self some room to breathe. It feels wonderful to breathe. Try it now.

 

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Work, life, parenthood and dreams bubble up in a blog

Hello out there. Here, I finally launch my blog. I used to write in my journal every morning. I have many, many, many black sketch books filled with ideas, poems, sketches, dreams and rants. Since my children were born, I haven’t had a place (or the time) to get my thoughts out on to paper. Now that paper is scarce and I have gone green, a blog seems the perfect place for me to share.

Also, becoming a mother has been the biggest love, challenge, adventure of my life. I have been lost and found so many times. Luckily I have a wonderful support system and ways of getting over and through the hurdles of raising children and balancing that with being true to myself as an artist. It is part of my make-up to work through obstacles, find tools to help me get over humps and then to teach others how I did it. I hope this will be a place where I can have fun letting my mind be free to bubble up and where others (moms perhaps) will learn something and find truth in what I might be saying. I hope so!

 

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Letting The 4 Year Old Lead (Saying Yes to Kids)

Wood Monkeys are Clever!

My 4-year-old daughter is very creative and strong-willed. After all, her chinese astrological sign is “wood monkey” (most kids who are 4 at this moment in time (and were born before feb 2005) are wood monkeys). Monkeys are imaginative, responsible, humorous, witty, curious and clever. They can also be sneaky. But the wood monkey is a real dynamo. And boy is she! So much passion and always a plan… a big plan.

But sometimes all this kinetic and curious energy, coupled with her speedy mind, seems to stop her in her tracks. It’s almost as if she blows a fuse from time to time. She gets really UPSET when she loses. And the beautiful thing is that she knows it. She says, “I get angry when I lose”. What a blessing to us (her parents) that her self-awareness can help us pave a way for her for even greater self-understanding.

So as the mother of a wood monkey, here’s my  PLAN:

LET THE MONKEY LEAD

My self-imposed task now is to let her lead, let her call the shots and say “yes” as many times a day as I can. Now, of course I don’t mean  that I’ll say “yes” to 10 gallons of chocolate sauce or dangerous sky-diving activities. But I am trying with all my might to NOT suggest too  much to her and to let her come up with HER OWN plan.

We are currently in Hawaii, so every day is an adventure. Swimming is the most exciting thing going on around here, and my daughter in the past, has been very nervous in the water. I’ve tried with swimming lessons and she just gets freaked out and panic-y. So now… I let her lead. I don’t say, “Oh, try to kick with big splashes” or “Do you want to try jumping off the side and I’ll catch you?”. She just doesn’t respond well to my ideas and suggestions. And I see that as I back off, she gets more adventurous and becomes more brave, becoming more in-control of her world. And I am happy to report that in just one day (yesterday) she learned to swim! All the way across the pool AND in the Maui waves (with floaties).

One more thought on letting her lead: yesterday she wanted a chocolate covered macaroon cookie. I said “ok” and her Daddy said, “You’re not going to like it”. They had a little battle over it and then we decided… let her try it – let her have the power to choose and we’ll see (and the old “choose your battles” rule also applies here). So we bought the baked item at the Maui Coffee Store and she liked it…kind of.  Will she order it again? Who knows?! Who cares! The important thing is that she is free to choose, lead and follow her curiosity, and for wood monkeys (and for most of us) that is one of the greatest perks of our liberal democratic nation. Power to the wood monkeys!!!

Aloha –

DP

 

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